His grubby little hands all over the candy
So I'm in The Fresh Market yesterday afternoon and as I'm walking by the candy, I see this kid, maybe about 15 years old, sticking his hands in the candy jars to get candy. He wasn't trying samples as people do, every so carefully with their filthy fingers, no this guy was whole fisting gobs of candy from the bins and putting in bags to purchase.
He literally was sticking an open hand into the jars and grabbing what he could and taking it out and putting in bags. I said something to him about what a dirty thing he was doing. He said he didn't realize what he was doing. How stupid can you be?
He ended up in line in front of me with his mother, who looked to be a classy lady and he didn't say anything. As they walked out of the store to their car he never looked back and neither did she, so I am assuming he didn't say anything to her. I was ready for an argument right there at the check out because I thought they were going to confront me. But he was a big boy, a fat boy, in fact, with fat pudgy fingers all in the candy bins. He was partial to the red licorice and jelly beans the most, but he grabbed his fair share from half a dozen bins or so.
This is how plagues are spread, or at least a cold or flu and wouldn't you know it, that I just threw my onion out the night before! I had been sleeping with an onion next to my bed all winter into spring to avoid the flu. You can read why I did that here.
I had the onion there so long it was beginning to sprout. Really.
He literally was sticking an open hand into the jars and grabbing what he could and taking it out and putting in bags. I said something to him about what a dirty thing he was doing. He said he didn't realize what he was doing. How stupid can you be?
He ended up in line in front of me with his mother, who looked to be a classy lady and he didn't say anything. As they walked out of the store to their car he never looked back and neither did she, so I am assuming he didn't say anything to her. I was ready for an argument right there at the check out because I thought they were going to confront me. But he was a big boy, a fat boy, in fact, with fat pudgy fingers all in the candy bins. He was partial to the red licorice and jelly beans the most, but he grabbed his fair share from half a dozen bins or so.
This is how plagues are spread, or at least a cold or flu and wouldn't you know it, that I just threw my onion out the night before! I had been sleeping with an onion next to my bed all winter into spring to avoid the flu. You can read why I did that here.
I had the onion there so long it was beginning to sprout. Really.
posted by Tom Falco at 10:00 AM
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