Moron on wheels
This moron felt the need for speed today on the small back streets of the Grove. He felt the need to tailgate me for blocks and then weave in and out of traffic at very high speeds.I almost got out of my car to punch him in the face when we came to a red light, but I felt blogging him would be better. You could barely see this punk behind the wheel, he was so short.
posted by Tom Falco at 1:18 PM
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24 Comments:
Nah... you should have punched him
I am so sick of idiots – much like this guy – speeding through our North Grove neighborhood. They barely slow down, much less stop at the intersections, which all happen to have very visible stop signs.
I think taking the offender's picture and posting it is a great idea! In fact, I have a few I'd like to "shoot" myself. Namely that silver Maserati sedan that uses Calusa as his freakin' speedway – pedestrians, animals of all sizes and children WATCH OUT! This guy never looks up, never slows down, all the while his cellphone plastered to his ear. Four times a day he does this - I can be inside my house and still hear his car revving down the short block, slowing down, then revving down the next block. Just writing about it incites me.
Then there's the neighbor in the silver Cayenne who does the same bloody thing! Especially shame on him, he lives just a few blocks over. He should at least have some consideration for people who actually know where he lives! Wishful thinking...
I wonder what would happen if you reported their license plate to the authorities? Would that result in repercussions on the perpetrators? Thing is they would probably have to be caught in the act by the cops themselves...
An older French poof who lives down the street on Lincoln has insisted on running the 4-way stop at Lucaya for years. But when Cmdr. Watkins was in charge of the NET office, he did go by and have a "talk" with the guy after a couple of phone calls from me. It didn't dissuade the arrogant old prick -- whose excuse was that he had been living here longer than me and that he never agreed to have the 4-way stop installed (apparently, the length of your residence is a mark of authority in the Grove, or something) -- as he was still running the stop sign, last I saw.
Take action. I had a woman in a Taurus try to run me off the road in my bike. I ripped her rearview mirror off.
O this is great. We have an arrogant prick in a porsche on center street. Last year during the marathon I yelled to him to slow down when he gunned his car out onto day ave right in front of a bunch of runners (Mind you, he was also on the the phone). What did i get in return??? The finger. Classy!!!
For what it's worth, this seems like the place to share a story about a taxi cab driver/jerk who drove me home from the airport after a recent trip to ecuador. I asked him if coconut grove and coral gables were in the same pay zone on a paper i was handed at the airport. He said he didn't know but thought so and turned off the meter. I told him my address in the grove exactly so it was very clear where we were supposedly headed. We drove down douglas and got to coral gables city center and he said well where is it? I said it's across us-1 in the grove where i live toward the end of douglas. He started cussing me out in spanish very violently saying how i had scammed him and planned all this out. The whole cab ride, we spoke nothing but spanish in fact. He called somebody on his cell and continued screaming and was out of control. He said he would take me to us-1 and dump me there. In disbelief at the situation, I told him he had better calm down or he would have a heart attack. I said he could charge me the fair to the gables following the zone rates and turn back on the meter to get me the rest of the way. He was just not listening, continued to my address, pulled into the drive, I asked how much, he didn't say anything, he got my luggage from the trunk angrily, THREW it across the drive, got back in, backed out very abruptly, and TRULY burned rubber down the road to get back onto douglas. I ended up paying nothing but was worried he was going to come back and vandalize the house. And i didn't get the license or number or anything cuz i thought he would charge me a fair price when we got to the house and it wouldn't end so crazily. I didn't do anything to piss the guy off. I mentioned as we started the cab drive that the president of iran had been in ecuador while i was there and that i thought bush was responsible for the resurgent left in latin america. I also said that people really liked correa, the new pres in ecuador. Even if he was a right wing cuban, it's not like i was saying anything too crazy left wing that should even in his twisted mind merit this kind of response. Anyhow, he was a JERK driver and i would have gotten his license if the whole thing hadn't been so surreal. In ecuador, where you would think they might try to take advantage of me cuz im a foreigner, cab drivers were as nice as could be as was everyone else as a matter of fact. It was when i got back to miami that this kind of thing happened.
Commissioner Sarnoff can be reached at msarnoff@miamigov.com or call 305 250 5333. If you have trouble getting through ask for Yvonne, Claudia, Ryan, Bert or Patti and describe the street and location. If it is a quality of life situation I am sure they will be delighted to help.
Here's a novel idea. How about the police enforce the traffic laws in this anarchy plauged city called Miami? If they did their jobs, we, as citizens would not have to take the law into our own hands. I know it sounds crazy to expect the cops to do this, but, hey, isn't that why we pay taxes?
Since we're on the subject.... Does anyone here know who "authorized" the 28th Street and 27th Lane traffic pattern changes in North Grove? All of a sudden, both roads were closed last week and under construction - apparently putting up CONCRETE medians that now will only allow right hand turns from both of these one way streets.
{Originally 28th conveniently intersected 27th Ave at the corner of Crook & Crook, directly in front of the Shell station – a well-worn path out of the neighborhood. 27th Lane abuts the Coral Bagels/Super Star Video strip mall. But now you can only make right hand turns from these streets – which puts you into the mall or en route to Northbound US-1; quite redundant for both streets to dictate this. Although I am sure it will increase business for the shops in the mall, it has created an unfounded inconvenience – and to what end, but a horrible imbalance of traffic through the heart of the neighborhood.
I imagine this was some sort of compromise(?) resulting from the heated neighborhood votings on whether or not to allow permanent road closings of these same two streets last year?!! If we all may recall - many a night was spent at Neighborhood Association meetings in protest of the other's point of view. It was a difficult time. Many once friendly neighbors are no longer on speaking terms because of this very same issue.
During the road closings the immediate repercussions are already horribly evident! The daily traffic has increased on the formerly, relatively quiet pedestrian streets of Inagua, Calusa, Swanson, Jefferson and Washington; Kirk Street to a lesser degree. Cars are already speeding through – rushing to get to Tigertail which is now the ONLY WAY for all residents of this North Grove neighborhood to reach southbound US-1 via 27th Avenue.
Why wasn't there a vote on this drastic alteration to the what is directly affecting the quality of life of this neighborhood?
I guess the only time someone will actually pay attention is when some inevitable human tragedy occurs due to the overload of traffic on these streets. This area of North Grove has above average pedestrian traffic at all times of the day; i.e. nannies with baby strollers, kids playing, many dogs being walked, and neighbors just chatting on street corners. Already someones cat on Calusa has been hit by a speeding car! (Yes, the owner is devastated!) These cars are not slowing down, nor stopping at the brand new stop signs installed at almost every intersection! It's just too much traffic!
WHO THE HELL AUTHORIZED THIS?
WHY WEREN'T WE INFORMED?
That construction by Crook & Crook is a pain in the ass and also a total waste of time. It makes the intersection even more shitty than it already is, not to mention makes traffic on 27th even worse during work commute hours.
As for assholes speeding in the Grove, you aint gonna stop it. Its unfortunate and I yell at people and have nearly came to blows with some who speed in my neighborhood where there are kids, dogs, etc. I just spit on their cars whenever I get pissed and that makes me feel a lot better.
For the person that made the comment about being run off the road on a bike, Im sorry but I have little sympathy. Bike riders in the Grove are disrespectful to drivers. The roads are for cars and there is a lane for bikes - use it. Do not ride in groups and take up half the lane or youre gonna get honked at, cursed at, etc. Same goes for people walking in the streets or walking their dogs in the streets. Thats what sidewalks are for - use em.
Didn't your Momma teach you not to spit or curse? Throw beer bottles and rocks at them instead!
But hey, two wrongs don't make it right. Plus it's bad karma for YOU - and it may set you back lifetimes. (Imagine perpetual, consecutive lifetimes of you having to deal with assholes in cars until you get the right and kind response...hmmmm.) Or if you don't believe in reincarnation and karma, etc, what would Jesus do? Allah, Jehovah, Momma?
Instead just put palm frons across the road, that works really well. And smile when they scowl and have to slow down:) That'll really get 'em good - pun intended!
By the way, pedestrians and cyclists always, always, always have the right-of-way. Just because there are more cars than bikes doen't mean cars own the road.
Trucks do.
actually a bike on the road has the SAME right of way as a car when they are on a public road sans bikepath. Pedestrian have right of way in crosswalk, but they are in the wrong if they are jaywalking.
For the person who made the comment about bikers in the Grove. What makes you think I was in the wrong? I use bike lanes (much to the scorn of other bikers) a lot.
In this particular case, I was going down the street towards my home. A typical side street. No bike lane, no hogging the road.
If someone attacks me with a car... watch out, I will rip pieces off the car. Karma or no Karma.
And yes, pedestrians have the right of way. Bikes do not, by the way, and must follow (in theory) vehicle regulations (such as stopping at red lights)
So much anger. Gee whiz. Well, I'm one to talk. This is Miami, after all.
But allow me to strongly recommend against some of the "self-help" methods suggested on this thread. While they may be emotionally appealing, they could get you arrested for assault, battery (spitting on an occupied car is battery), vandalism, or sued for trespass to chattels, assault and battery, etc. Any of these things will make your life very un-fun for a while, maybe a long while. Perhaps the least fun part is that you end up having to pay someone like me, a lawyer, lots of money to get your ass out of a fix.
Grapevine has the best idea. Take a picture of the a**hole's car, or of the a**hole, himself, and post it on the Internet for all to ridicule. In fact, Grapevine should dedicate a special "Page of Shame" for contributors to post pics of the vehicles of chronic offenders.
To the person who complained that bicyclists should stay in the bike lane, I have only one question:
Bike lanes? In Miami? Never saw such a thing.
And as for staying on the sidewalks in Coconut Grove? You've got to be kidding. Half of the sidewalks have been "claimed" by people as extensions of their front yards, the other half are barely passable. What sidewalks exist are not wide enough for a person walking a dog.
Bikes belong in the bike lane or on the edge of the road, period. People belong on sidewalks or the edge of the road, not taking up a whole side of the road by walking in a group. If you are in my way, I will honk at you to move. Plain n simple...
Yes, I think I know your type. Every now and then, I'll hear someone bearing down on my child and me at high speed, honking at us while still a block away and before we've even had a chance to start thinking about getting onto the swale.
Neighborly nice, that.
I would recommend moving to western Broward County, where the roads and sidewalks are wider. If you really have to drive faster than 20 mph no matter where you are, and you cannot abide the very thought of sharing these quiet streets with pedestrians, then you really are living in the wrong part of town.
Um, I obey the speed limits and generally drive like a "Sunday Driver" when Im on the backroads in the Grove. People honk at you before the intersection/turn because they know that, even though YOU are supposed to stop and wait for traffic before crossing, that you are most likely to continue pedaling and they dont want to hit/injure you or your child. Main violation point for this move is 17th and South Bayshore.
Like I said, if you stick to the side of the road where you belong, we have no problem. If you are biking with friends and taking up the whole lane and expecting cars to wait patiently behind you, then you are an arrogant assholes and deserve to be run off the road.
Well, I was talking about walking, not biking.
Saying that you obey the speed limit on the narrow streets in the Grove is kind of a misleading, as anything over 20 mph is unsafe on many of our streets.
Again, no matter the provocation, "running" someone "off the road" is dangerous and illegal, and could lead to criminal charges for vehicular assault, which I believe (I'm not a criminal defense attorney) is a felony offense. It is also an intentional tort for which you can be sued for punitive damages.
I therefore strongly recommend against it.
Looks like the guy who honks and runs cyclists off the road needs his self-righteous mug taken for our newly proposed "Page of Shame".
Case in Point to previous commentor:
...So after the anger wears off and you've successfully run the "arrogant asshole" cyclist off the road, and they lay bruised, injured or just plain shaken up - then will you feel better? Justified that you taught them a lesson in proper, law abiding road etiquette? Why not just exercise a bit of tolerance for the few minutes it will take to pass them safely?
Share the road works both ways. It is as stupid for cyclists to block an entire lane and expect drivers to be patient as it is for drivers to try to run cyclists off the road.
It is really amazing how many people will just be so stubborn as to cause harm to another just to prove a point.
That's where lawyers come in.
I was almost run off the road by a neighbor (and a guy who knew me, no less!). I sat down with the guy later and just asked him "do you really want my lawyer to take your house from you and give it to me minus his 33%? Because that's what's going to happen!"
Actually, the Florida Constitution doesn't allow you to execute a judgment against someone's homestead property. That's one reason why we have so many colorful citizens, here. Remember when OJ Simpson moved here? There was a reason for that.
Ok, when I say "running off the road" im talking about honking and not traveling across the median to pass but rather holding my ground and forcing them to the side of the road or grass for being ignorant. As usual, the whine-o's on this blog have taken something and totally blown it out of proportion (bruised, injured, shaken up - spare the drama please). Swlip, the speed limit in the Grove on backstreets is 30mph, which is also the same speed limit for a dense residential neighborhood in Anytown, USA. I also believe youre the same guy who doesnt think people should be allowed to drive in his neighborhood, so Im not surprised by your comments. Your elitist attitude is exactly whats wrong with Miami. Its also "very Miami" to act like an asshole and then hide behind the shield of a big mouth lawyer and make threats with lawsuits. Where I come from, if you act like an asshole then you get your ass kicked and then you dont act like an asshole anymore. Simple and effective.
Let's see. So much anger, so much misinformation, so little reading comprehension, so little time:
Ok, when I say "running off the road" im talking about honking and not traveling across the median to pass but rather holding my ground and forcing them to the side of the road or grass for being ignorant.
Using a vehicle to intimidate someone is still vehicular assault. You still have to wait for them to yield the right of way. Sorry, I get annoyed by bicyclists who hog the road, too, but that's the way it is.
As usual, the whine-o's on this blog have taken something and totally blown it out of proportion (bruised, injured, shaken up - spare the drama please).
We just took your words at face value. When you say that someone deserves to be "run off the road," that has a literal meaning. Sorry that we failed to grasp the "deeper meaning."
Nuance, as the French say.
Swlip, the speed limit in the Grove on backstreets is 30mph, which is also the same speed limit for a dense residential neighborhood in Anytown, USA.
I know that. I'm just saying that anything more than 20 mph is not a reasonably safe speed on many of our small back streets. Saying that you were obeying the speed limit won't be of much comfort if you run over a kid or a pet who runs out from between some of the dense foliage that's on the swale throughout the Grove. Just sayin'.
I also believe youre the same guy who doesnt think people should be allowed to drive in his neighborhood. . .
I never wrote any such thing. Seeing as I drive in the neighborhood, I would be advocating against myself. I recently rode my bike for the first time in about a year. It was nice, but I'm too out of shape to take it everywhere I need to go.
Your elitist attitude is exactly whats wrong with Miami.
I'm an elitist for suggesting that people obey the law and not commit assault and battery? Odd. I thought that I was just being a concerned citizen.
Its also "very Miami" to act like an asshole and then hide behind the shield of a big mouth lawyer and make threats with lawsuits.
Well, I haven't threatened to sue anybody on this forum, and I wouldn't have a basis for doing so. At least, not yet. All I have done is explained the possible criminal and civil liability that one might be exposed to if one were to carry out some of the actions that have been suggested on this thread. Again, I'm just showing my concern as a citizen, nothing more. That you would take it as a threat speaks volumes.
The suggestion that I'm hiding behind a "shield" is funny. I'm not the one who's posting anonymously.
I also doubt that many people here think that I am the one who is behaving like a "big mouth" and an "asshole."
Where I come from,. . .
So, you're not from Miami?
. . . if you act like an asshole then you get your ass kicked and then you dont act like an asshole anymore. Simple and effective.
If you're going to threaten me, especially for no reason when I've done nothing to threaten you, at least have the courage to identify yourself.
I think that what we are seeing here from your comments, anonymous, is a perfect demonstration of why Miami has a reputation as being full of rude, angry, hotheads. Sorry, just an observation.
SWLIP - nicely put.
Frustrating to have to address such ignorant and reprehensible responses from the anonymous.
Anger is seething from his/her pores - clouding better judgment (and comprehension) ...but most of all putting anyone he/she encounters with their speeding road hogging car in serious harms way.
Get your cameras ready... so far no one's posted anymore Miami asshole drivers... there certainly isn't a scarcity.
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