The sour puss from West Kendall

Ok first off, please read this with a grain of salt. I actually love the whole county, all of South Florida in fact. I have family in West Kendall and I am just responding because I have received a lot of rude comments here from people who live outside the Grove, telling us all how horrible the Grove really is. I'm not sure why they feel the need to do that, but I suspect  they secretly deep down wish they lived here. There is something interesting psychologically about people who continue to read the Grapevine when they don't have to, and then put down Coconut Grove in the comments section.

I've been blocking a lot of nasty comments that have been left mostly about our little Red Headed Bamby and Clyde group (thanks Sandi for that name). Apparently, according to the comments, most people who don't live in the Grove enjoy crime free lives and beautiful sunny days 365 days a year. They live among rainbows and angels and God shines his light on them and has forsaken Coconut Grove. This is basically their words if you read between the lines.

It looks like it's open season on us Grovites from people who have lived here and left here or people who don't live here yet feel it is their duty to read the Coconut Grove news (the Grapevine) and then comment negatively on our little village. I'm not sure why, I don't read their local news, yet they feel the need to come back daily to read every detail of our lives. Go figure.

This one comment that didn't go through was: "I'm in West Kendall and I love it. You don't see the stuff you guys go through here. Why would anybody want to live in the Grove. It's so boring and surrounded by a terrible neighborhood and Miami Police are way corrupt not to mention you get way more for your buck here. I am so glad I only rented while I was in the Grove and never bought there."

I am bringing back the Sour Grapes Award from a few years back, because if anyone deserves it this person does. I can smell those mushy sour concords all the way from his/her cookie cutter community out in the Everglades, I mean West Kendall. I think if he/she was so proud of his/her community, they would have signed their post and not been an Anonymous poser poster.

No offense to West Kendall, but if anyone ever tries to drag me out there, I beg you, shoot me in the middle of my head and dump me in the bay, yes, beautiful Biscayne Bay, which we all see glistening out our windows daily in our beautiful little tree lined village, with the red brick winding sidewalks, where everyone knows your name and where life is really pleasant and beautiful; where we don't need cars and can just walk outside to galleries, outdoor cafes, the gym, and the movies; where you can actually walk or ride bikes, rollerblades or skateboards down the street and most people who pass by know you by name and call out "hello" to you, including the police, who know us all by name.

We can sail, run,  and enjoy our many parks, and just dwell in our misery (according to our commenter). We can be miserable as we enjoy happy hour at the 100 year old Taurus bar or watch the sunset from the roof of the Mayfair or Sonesta, or watch the games at the Sandbar, Barracuda and The Grove Spot. And of course it's always annoying waiting for a table at Lulu, LoKal or Greenstreets, because they are always so crowded with West Kendallites who seem to like to share our Grove misery with us.

We Grovites, must endure the Bed Races, the King Mango Strut, Halloween, the Arts Festival and all those pesky things that don't happen out in West Kendall. Oh yea, most of the 5K's and marathons pass through or little village, so we're stuck waving and passing out water to those people that run by, but hey, it's part of quaint village life, we deal with it.

We also have to deal with all the trees and grass and cottages (and dog parks) and again, the bay, right there out our door with the large yachts, small crafts and sailboats, with Key Biscayne and Stiltsville in the distance. We have to deal with Hollywood film and tv companies taking over very often and Burn Notice does block the streets a lot, but hey, they'll be gone soon.

As for boating, we do deal with all those boaters from West Kendall, too, who feel that the free Seminole Boat Ramp is theirs to use on weekends. They come in by the droves, blocking our streets, you know, South Bayshore Drive and SW 27th Avenue. Maybe we should start charging for that so they are not forced to come here and be part of our horrible little village.

Speaking of boaters, we have to also deal with thousands of sailors every year as we are the largest regatta area in the country, for six months we deal with these luxurious people who enter the village and fill the waterfront with sailboats and races and all that sporting life stuff, reminds us of New England, but we deal with it. We also have that old rat trap the 150 year old Barnacle and it's huge front lawn filled with picnics and barn dances and cars shows that goes down to the bay, you are lucky to deal with your oldest dwelling only being circa 1990s in West Kendall, we have to deal with actual Florida history here.

In Coconut Grove, we have to deal with the easy proximity to Coral Gables, South Miami, Brickell, Wynwood and South Beach where we are part of culture within minutes. We have to be miserable in all this, because alas, we don't live in West Kendall like our illustrious Anonymous commenter.

And yes, we bitch and moan and argue with each other, but that's what families do, you see, unlike many neighborhoods, we all know our neighbors, who are our friends (and family),  so we do family things like argue, disagree and bitch and moan. It's part of life. If we didn't know each other and didn't care about our community, we wouldn't be so passionate.

For those of you who love and live in beautiful downtown West Kendall, more power to you. I prefer to dwell in my misery here. I like having an actual community, a village with an actual name.

Oh, and no comments will be published on this post that are put downs to our little Grove community, because frankly,  if you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything.

We don't post put downs in the West Kendall Gazette. If we are stupid enough to live here in little old Coconut Grove, why make fun of us? Huh? Anonymous person from West Kendall? Why? Ignorance is bliss. We are happy being ignorant. Leave us in our bliss.

From Living the Law of Attraction: "Whenever somebody puts you down, keep in mind that they are speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations. Ignore them."