Mocking the ugly black information booths
Interesting column Fred Grimm had in yesterday's Herald, it was about our ugly black information booths.Apparently the County is still at odds with the city over them and wants them removed; two for blocking the view of passing motorists and one blocks the bike path on Main Highway.
They were installed also without the proper permits and they are ugly and unmanned for most of the time. And even when they are manned, the guards prefer to stand outside and move around, they don't usually sit inside.
Most of the time the lost tourists are on their own.
Fred's column is here.
PS, Maybe the City can raise badly needed funds by having a demolition day in the Grove, people would pay for sledge hammer whacks to knock the booths down. $1.00 a whack. I bet the City could raise lots of money that way.
posted by Tom Falco at 8:00 AM
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17 Comments:
What a travesty. I hope that the Herald does a follow up on this story to uncover who the heck is responsible for signing off on a project that never got the county's approval.
I have a sneeking suspicion that it could be the very same person who usurped the permitting process when building circles and fences near his home. Don't remember?
Yea, both the roundabout on virginia and the fence erected at the dog park had similar indiscretions in the permitting process. Both of those projects were built and THEN the permits were obtained.
Grape, please do a little digging on this one, someone needs to inform this bussy little beaver that just because he's commissioner doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants whenever he feels the urge.
I think it's called law and order.
Speaking of permitting and zoning issues... Grape, I've repeatedly heard a rumor of which I have no idea in regard to the truth. It involves the law firm run by the district 2 commissioner from a residence in the grove.
Can you shed some light on this?
"LAP DANCES?
Another Groveite rolled his eyes and said the only way the booths would make financial sense would be as tourist-info-and-mini-lap-dance parlors" (Miami Herald)
Great idea. I'm sure Papa Sarnoff would be all for that, the first customer.. However, some of our fine tourists and more conservative residents might regard this essential public service as somewhat scandalous. Thus, I propose a more family-friendly solution: paint the despicable black booths with tropical colors, palm trees and coconuts, blow the roofs off, and play Calypso music all day. Hire a nice looking young lady to dance and giggle around each booth, properly dressed with colorful Hawaiian attires or traditional Cocoanut Grove motives. These pretty performers need to be trilingual and well-versed in multiple Village intricancies --addresses, street names, restaurants, Grove traditions and events, the whole enchilada-- handing out cool, free maps and joking around with our friendly visitors. That would be DA BOMB. Business here would peak in a couple weeks as if the recession had inexplicably and suddenly vanished in the Grove. CI
Maybe I can shed some light on that particular situation.
District 2 commissioner Marc Sarnoff is running a full fledged law office right out of his house on Virginia St.
He conveniently had a dog park created directly in front of his two residences at which his clients get to take advantage of "free parking" for his illegal business run from his homes.
Businesses all throughout the Grove must pay into the Cocoanut Grove Parking Waiver Trust Fund in order to be in compliance with city of Miami code inforcement. Commissioner Sarnoff gets to use monies from this trust fund as his own private piggy bank for pet projects for him and his cronies.
The irony here is that Sarnoff has been able to manipulate the system far better than any of his crooked predecessors, he doesn't even pay a dime into the fund.
The code is very specific as to running a business out of your home.
First and foremost, a person can allocate no more than %25 of the entire Sq. footage of their home to a business run from that residence. Our good commissioner devotes one of his entire homes for his own law office. He's a "do as I say and not as I do" guy.
I can guarantee you if anyone else did what he does, they'd be shut down the next day by his goons working in "official capacity".
I think the Herald or The New Times needs to investigate this illegal activity.
Does this bother anyone else?
Tony Cincotta
And don't forget that stupid bike rack! Who ever heard of a bike rack in the MIDDLE of a bike path. Everyone was amazed how it appeared overnight. I say the the nighttime installation was no accident. No permit, no permission from the county that runs the Commodore Bike Path. Just another photo opt for our past mayor.
"And don't forget that stupid bike rack! Who ever heard of a bike rack in the MIDDLE of a bike path."
I take it you mean the red guitar, that bike rack next to the extremely ugly, expensive and useless "information" booth accross of GreenStreet Cafe. I wouldn't can describe that area --(or any area in the the City of Miami) as having some sort of "bike path". Bike Lanes, or Bike Trails and even Bike "paths" are usually designed with that primary purpose or application in mind. There, around Commodore Plaza, main Hwy. and Douglass, all the way North through South Bayshore Dr., it's just the average Grove Circus: Pedestrians with dogs of all sizes, patrons going for breakfast or luch, the occasional runners or leisure-bike riders, a couple skaters, Spiderman, Cops on horses if we're lucky. I certainly wouldn't call it a dedicated "Bike Path" (try speeding around there with any bike). It's just a multi-purpose sidewalk with nice red bricks and a cool red guitar rack to secure a few rugged bikes. CI
The so-called "Commodore Bike Path" is a joke, at best, it simply doesn't exist. Same as what they now pretend to build on Bird Av. As I told Papa Sarnoff in person a few months ago, that's far from any real "Bike Path". It's just a bogus sales-pitch, political demagogy, a convenient illusion for the voters. CI
I have always wondered how Marc got away with that illegal office he has
Tom, if these allegations about Sarnoff, allegedly running his law office from house in the center grove which is not used at least 75% as a residence, are true, why is this not the a headline story on the grapevine?
It's certainly bigger than anything else I've ever seen on this site.
Because people are good at accusing others of things here anonymously. Usually none of it holds water.
Grape, I love and respect you like no other, but in this case you're mistaken.
If anyone were to go to his office...I mean his home, under the guise of a consultation for a mariime issue or a slip and fall accident, it would be abundantly clear that the entire residence is being used as an office in one way or another.
He feels like he's teflon Marc,
like he can do whatever he wants because he's running Bartertown.
There's more than a couple of us dedicated to exposing this sack of human feces for the self indulgent politician that he's proven himself to be.
Tom, I see a name signed on the "anon" comment at 11:34 - that means that it is in fact, not "accusing others of things here anonymously."
I don't mean to tell you your business, but you do think it's worth looking into, right?
Sure, when you finish investigating, get back with me.
Its true that the black booths are stupid, a two-year source of ridicule, but they are Sarnoff's babies, somthing he thought would work. They didn't and it is hard for him to back down and say, "I made a mistake, dump those suckers".
Ditto on the Red Guitar. Its not a bad public sculpture but In The Middle of the Sidewalk??? Geez. What idiot made that decision? Stick it in Meyers Park with all of Monty's other sculptures.
The Good News is that for the most part, Commissioner Sarnoff is doing a pretty good job. His worthy projects far outweigh the bad ones refered to in these "No fan of Marc" comments.
Let's make lemonade out of lemons. I am not a fan of the look of the black boxes but I do think they could be useful and help our village.
Paint them tropical colors, orange or yellow or blue and put a palm tree topper on them to give them a fun and vibrant feel.
Man them with a security/information staff hybrid who can report accidents or mischief but also hand out Coconut Grove maps and information booklets. Put a floral shirt on them and make them our ambassadors to the Grove. Friendly staff who can answer questions, give out palm tree lollipops to the kids and answer questions on directions and more.
If I was a boat charter in Dinner Key I would not mind to pay a fee to have my companies brochure handed out from these tourist information booths.
In addition Coconut Grove promotions for the merchants could be run from these booths as well.
This would be an additional revenue stream for the Grove and could be reinvested for use to mantain these tourism outlets as well as fund Grove events and promotions.
Why knock them down when we could use them to grow prosperity for our village.
Why don't we use one of those booths to house the director of the BID instead of paying through the nose over there at the Mayfair?
The Sarnoff Black Boxes would make a great cuban coffee/snack stands. Offer them for rent as a 3 store (box) deal. Make some additional revenue for the city that can be then be miss managed as is the norm.
As to 11:34 if you sign a fictitious name isn't that the same as writing as "Anonymous"????
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