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Saturday, January 09, 2016

He's not crazy about the new park benches

Walking around Pier 7 on this amazing afternoon, couldn't help but notice the obvious, protruding eyesores on the new, beautiful Regatta park.

Disclaimer: We must applaud Mr. Sarnoff and his staff for the work they did there.  (not that we're not happy he's gone). I know many Grovites were fans of "Burn Notice." or whatever movie stars were there, but the Concrete Center was a piece of crap, as ugly as it gets, almost. Good riddance! In exchange, we got a wonderful, waterfront, open-space park that everyone can enjoy all day long.

Now here's the true wonder:

Did they recycle the despicable Expo-Convention Center concrete, to use it on those unholy concrete "park benches?!" to save a buck or two over 15 years in maintenance? How ugly are those concrete "modern" "park" benches for a PARK? In New York, or anywhere in Europe, people get fired for such ugliness. And lack of civility, abysmal taste.

In parks, you expect to see birds, trees, green grass, wood, much like you see on another beautiful Grove Park, Kennedy (except for the rolling toilets, but that's another story).

Earlier, I was biking around 27th Ave. Honestly, after almost a decade of inefficient construction and deconstruction, they ended up doing a pretty decent job.The "peanut circle" is cool in my book. People will get used to it and  the rest up to US1, with the bike path, is nice. Can't complain. (Except it took too long, and some people got too rich).

Then again, have you seen those cheap, horrific street benches they dared to exhibit on 27th?!I've been debating with friends and family, for weeks, which benches are uglier or more inappropriate: Those in our great new park, or on the unpalatable, disgusting ones on 27th Ave.

It's a tough call, what do you think? Look at'em. Sit on them. It's a shame, for a top-tax paying, supposedly "Historic" Grove Village. Is it not?

We have a great new Commissioner in District 2: Ken, if you read this: Destroy those Regatta Park concrete benches, replace them with WOOD.  Fancy wood, yes. Or whatever. We'll pay for the maintenance, no worries. Not very expensive at all, anyway. That's what every decent park, in the USA or Europe does. Wooden, natural Park benches for people to enjoy.

Let's have the guts to admit previous mistakes, as they did with those ridiculous "isles" on Commodore "Plaza".

Fix it.

Everyone will be happy you did, and will enjoy our great new park and improved 27th Ave. even more.

Carlos Iglesia
Coconut Grove

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Blogger alcrespo said...

The design of these 'benches' was to insure that folks didn't spend too much time sitting in the park. No back rest.

January 09, 2016 8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is no park bench it is a post modernist sarcophagus

January 09, 2016 2:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm eternally grateful that at age 73 I've never wasted, not one second of my life contemplating such thoughts, such negatives, such a waste of time. Time is what you two com-mentors have to much of. Try thinking outside your limited concerns and think positive thoughts and you'll live longer and enjoy your time here on planet earth; it's called get a life! What a waste of time thinking such thoughts and then taking the time to sit down and mach such comments.

January 09, 2016 2:34 PM  
Blogger Sledge said...

With all due respect, one of the reasons those horrific, stiff benches need to go is because no 73 year-old person could spend 5 minutes sitting on them. At any age, just looking at them from a distance hurts. CI.

January 09, 2016 3:17 PM  
Blogger SethGordon said...

I suspect that at age 73 the correspondent above has never wasted one second contemplating ANY thoughts.
It's curious that he DID somehow find time in his busy life of positive thinking to write his negative post.
As to the abominable benches, Google "park bench" and then click on "images"
You will see hundreds and hundreds of different styles of park benches, modern and antique and made of many different materials.
None so ungainly and dysfunctional as the ones in our otherwise nice new park.
It IS a shame.

January 09, 2016 3:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think those park benches are the WORST! I absolutely HATE them. They look uncomfortable and they are uncomfortable. Why design a beautiful park and then buy benches that make it impossible to sit on them in a leisurely way and enjoy the surroundings? I agree, they need to go.

January 09, 2016 4:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These benches SUCK..They need to be replaced with real park benches where one can sit and relax..lean back spend some time and enjoy the beauty that surrounds us.

KEN are listening?

January 09, 2016 4:35 PM  
Blogger SethGordon said...

Grapevine should hold a contest to let the public pick a new park bench design.
Showcase a wide range of options and let people vote here on the Grapevine.

January 09, 2016 4:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Gordon, you do not need to insult others to express your opinion. I am 75 and totally agreed withe opinion of the 73 years old. Maybe is a generational thing. Anyway, you should enjoy life and not sit on a bench! 😃😃😃😃

January 09, 2016 4:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They might be designed that way to keep
the "street people" from sleeping on them. They are a place to sit and rest.
NOT to become a residence!

The Mad Russian

January 09, 2016 5:07 PM  
Blogger SethGordon said...

To the 75 year old who was offended by my "insult" of the 73 year old but blind to the totally insulting post by the 73 year old, you give old age a bad name.....

January 09, 2016 6:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since there was such a rush to dismantle a building which really could have been salvaged, thus saving something usable, perhaps the benches were a hurried decision as well.
From what i see, the city and county are cut from the same piece of cloth.
Dishonesty runs rampant.

January 10, 2016 6:55 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

i almost posted yesterday but thought better of it;however,there's too much bickering about the stupid ugly crypt-like benches that resemble burial vaults. In my opinion, we shouldn't waste any more taxpayer money replacing them immediately with benches that are bound to pi$$ off somebody.

January 10, 2016 4:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seth, relax and stop injecting and making up stuff. 73 year said no where that he was to busy to have thoughts, you made that up! 73 never his life was busy, you made that up and that makes you a liar and fabricator, like trying to enrage others and create tumult. That also makes you a cowardly soul/sole hate monger! You'd have nothing to say if you couldn't make up some lies! Sit, don't sit, gees, what kind of person needs to make up stuff to have something to say, and make up lies about absolutely nothing; get a life and try fictional writing(s), you're perfect for such a task and it might give you something to do Seth? Who cares about some cement park benches, sit or don't sit, who cares? The benches are maintenance free, will last forever, have you tried them yet, I didn't think so, just bitch, bitch & bitch, right?

January 11, 2016 6:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Who cares about park benches'? Dogs don't, I guess, although they probably also prefer regular wood benches. Their sense of aesthetics is probably finer than some humans'.

'Maintenance free'?, cool, we should replace the grass and trees with synthetic, plastic stuff, to lower the maintenance costs even more! CI

January 11, 2016 8:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the two fossils who logged on to bitch about people bitching: I cannot believe that you are unfamiliar with the idea of irony after 73 and 75 years on this planet. But really, why so defensive about sun an obviously poor choice by someone on behalf of the city? was it you?

To the odd individual who logged on to bitch about the bitching about the bitching... Wow impressive.

As for myself, I know, I know. I'm worst of all.

January 11, 2016 11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The benches are not a bad choice, or even a good choice, they're just benches, who cares!
The park is beautiful, natural and a plus for our Grove, as was the convention center when it served a purpose, as was the Burn Notice TV series. Why do some people always see negatives when there is nothing but positives. The entire park is nothing but a plus. It's on Biscayne Bay, directly behind the largest most modern boat dock and anchorage in the United States. Jobie Steppe

January 11, 2016 7:02 PM  
Blogger windphanatic said...

I can understand the two sides of the discussion regarding the benches but I think the topic is a distant second or third to the fact that there are no bathrooms for the people that use the park. Keep in mind that this park was built from scratch and the geniuses that designed, approved and built it did not even bother to put in bathrooms. Now that's really smart urban planning.

January 12, 2016 11:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course the new park is great, very nice, open grass field, nice new trees, even a funky, original little playground park. A definite improvement from that ugly concrete thing and parking lot called "expo-center" (with all due respect to the memory of Jim Morrison's infamous concert there).

But that does not preclude tax-payers and thankful residents to point out the Blatant mistakes. If we don't "bitch" and keep City Hall in check, who will?

Ask your friends what they think of those horrific, artificial, pseudo-park benches, with no lumbar support, a definite eye-sore? They will all agree those despicable concrete "park benches" suck. Do they belong on any decent PARK? Google "Park benches", and show me something uglier, more useless and inappropriate. Can't be found on planet earth..

As for the lack of bathrooms, are we to believe that the average Joe can't use the ones on the spanking-new, Diner Key Marina, exclusive $3 Million Mc Mansion right there? Nice.. Perhaps they can roll-in one of the 2 trailer-trash beauties from Kennedy Park? That would save us another extra buck! CI.

January 12, 2016 11:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At 1st I thought, who cares, I never sit! The more some of U bitched U made some darn good points "lumbar support"!? I injured myself last Friday week and at 73 it's taking some times to correct the injury - - - - I remain upright for now, but I sure feel like sitting down as in "lumbar support" - - - - who in hell designed those benches? CL's right bitch if it feels right! Plus, a class act park should have some bathrooms. Jobie Steppe

January 12, 2016 3:31 PM  
Blogger windphanatic said...

Anonymous, I may be misinformed but I read (and I'm pretty sure it was on Grapevine) that the bathrooms in the Diner Key Marina building were for exclusive use of the marina users.

January 12, 2016 4:56 PM  
Blogger Brian Breslin said...

As a 33 year old I would love to see some comfortable park benches where I could sit back and read a book. The Blanche park benches can't be too expensive to add

January 12, 2016 11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

windphanatic, I was just being sarcastic.. Everything on the new, $3 Million Marina McMansion is exclusive, for registered boat owners only. Thus, as you can see, the building is usually rather empty, under-utilized. While the Historic Cocoanut Grove Arts theater remains shamefully closed, and we can't afford 2 friggin' Trolleys, can't afford to rebuild a decent bathroom on Kennedy Park.

I wonder what Ken Russel thinks about that..

Also, I bet the stupid decision to put up those teeth-grinding, horrific, concrete things, instead of real Park Benches, was made to save 3 dollars and fifty cents over 10 years. As if Grovites didn't pay Way More than their share of high taxes to District 2..

But hey, City Hall works in mysterious ways, nothing new about that. CI

January 13, 2016 10:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brian, you do offer a plausible solution: add real, wooden park benches with back-support to the great Regatta Park. And they should be even nicer than those on Blanche or Kennedy parks.

Problem is where you put'em: They would create a hell of a contrast with the embarrassing concrete things. Ken Russell and the other Commissioners, as Grove tax-payer "Representatives", servants of the people if you will, should hold this to a public referendum of sorts. Or not. It's clear that no one likes those things.

While we thank Mr. Sarnoff and all for the nice new park, and the nice 27th ave. endless improvements, all those cheap, shameful "benches" should be replaced. This is Historic Coconut Grove village, a supposedly fancy place, not downtown Brasilia or the Manila suburbs.

With a new Commissioner, without pointing fingers, it should be Doable to just replace the concrete things with real park benches. Move on. The sooner they do it, the better. Someone will have enough common sense someday to fix it, anyway. That, and add a real bathroom somewhere, not a rolling trailer trash toilet, Kennedy park style. Then the new park would be truly awesome for Yo-yo exhibitions, dogs, reading books comfortably or flying kites, roller-skating, and Yoga. CI

January 13, 2016 11:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn if you gadflies haven't found something to connect Mark Sarnoff to Ken Russell, somewhere between a negative and a degree of tumult - - - - - cement park benches, what a stretch! If U get a flat tomorrow I guess you'll claim Mr. Russell cut the budget for street cleaners, both mechanical and paid human street sweepers. Or perhaps Mr. Russell is now responsible for aligning several planets resulting in excessive high tides!? Jobie Steppe

January 13, 2016 10:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No wheelchair access from the north side except on Bayshore and down by the waterfront, but lets all worry about these stupid benches!!!!!

January 17, 2016 7:53 AM  

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